DJ and I used to be amazed at the amount of people on
Swing Lifestyle that take breaks, yet continue to log in every day. We used to guess what had happened in the relationship to cause the discontinuation of their amorous adventures. Was it jealousy? Cheating? That was usually our first guess. As novice swingers, we really did not know any better. We would find interesting tag lines, some about taking an "extended" break, "no longer together" "see you in church" Some are obvious, some have you guessing. We automatically assumed that a couple could not take the heat, so they got out of the kitchen. We were n00bs, we though our libido would carry us through anything, and that some folks were just quitters. We found out, that we were no exception to our previous assumptions.
We are now currently "taking a break." (I prefer to say "on the bench" so our friends do not think we have given up on the life) We have a medical issue within our immediate family that is truly sucking up a lot of time. Not to mention back to school. Right now, we just do not have the time or the energy to play. We have made it clear in our profile what the situation is, and that we would still be answering messages. However, our case is a perfect example of the many reasons a swinging couple may want a breather. It isn't always drama-related, sometimes life kicks in and puts your social life on hold. Sometimes, we have to take some time out to concentrate on things like family, health, finances, careers, pregnancies, and sometimes just to reconnect to each other. Touch base, so to speak. Swingers are also parents, sons, brothers, daughters and sisters. I have seen quite a few couples take Summer long breaks from the life, concentrating on vacations and kids. I have seen some take the Christmas season off. Right now, I am returning to school to pursue my Master's Degree, my kids are returning to school, and a close relative's health is failing. Right now, we just can't spare the energy or the time. Life happens to everyone, even hedonists.
But, there are those who step into the "penalty box" for whatever reason. And even those breaks are for the greater good. When things seem to be spinning out of control, and emotions are running high, it is a good time to step back and re-evaluate. Is this life benefiting us? What can we do different to make it better for us? Do we really want to do this? Do we need to adjust our rules?
Whatever the reason, folks in the lifestyle should always remember to be honest, be open, and when it is too overwhelming-take the break. Sex has been around since the dawn of time, it will be there when you get back.
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